Exploding, hurt, just everything!!!!
Setting yourself a target gives your life a meaning. Not achieving it can make you feel miserable. And that’s what I’m going through right now.
I simply failed! Failed as I couldn’t accomplish what I wanted.
And what’s worse? I won’t get a second chance to catch up. I’m done with high school, I was seeking an Abi-average better than 1.5 which is impossible now and I’m mad at myself.
I’m mad because I wasted so much time trying to solve stupid friendship problems (in which I couldn’t achieve what I wanted either!!!)
I’m mad because I know that I could have done much better than that.
I’m mad because I didn’t get a grip in time and when I still had the opportunity to make a difference.
I’m mad because some megalomaniac’s paranoia will grow more than ever before.
I’m mad because I’ll be ending this chapter of my life like that.
I’m mad because I have the feeling that I screwed up, no, it’s not a feeling, it’s a damn true fact.
I’m mad because I can’t change anything about that any more.
I’m mad because I can’t believe how I let myself get so distracted by things which I couldn’t change anyway.
I’m mad because I totally messed up.
I’m mad because although I should be happy that I’ll graduate from school soon I’d do anything to get a second chance.
I'm mad because I have lost my self-esteem.
And above all: I’m mad because I’m even wasting more time by being mad and writing this!!!!!!
6 comments:
Hallo! Nadia! What is wrong ya benty?! school isn't everything and u have a whole life ahead of u to change and make a better place! Ur only problem in my oinion is thta u want to change everything around u! this is just not possible! u have to learn to accept somethings and some people just 4 what they r! Start by changing urself and set urself a target to reach and don't get distracted by 78759 other goals!
Yala good luck fel mündlich!
Thanks a lot! :)
Believe me, regarding changing people I really learnt my lesson we 7aramt! Or at least I know when I should give up. One of the things which I will definitely be aware of in future inshaa' Allah!
I have to admit: Same here. Except I have this feeling that I am not able to regret anything anymore. Shameless. And it makes me feel even worse. I want my conscious back, like the good old days when I was nearly perfect (somehow). I really do hope, for both of us, that we'll "regain" everything, because it is disappointing.
Trust me, grades mean absolutely nothing next to knowledge. One thing that school has failed to teach us is that what you know counts, as well as how you can handle your knowledge, not what marks you get. There's a big difference there.
When you enter the world of University, keep in mind that nothing is more important than that you understand your field well, and not that you can pass all exams well.
In your future life you'll be working with your knowledge and ability after all, and not by the grades you got in this and that exam.
Besides, when you fall, you just stand up again, and not lie on the ground complaining to yourself about it =)
Just calm down, focus on what's left and try to enjoy it. The real important things in life are still to come anyway.
@ Nada: Read the comment of the Sphinx.
@ the Sphinx: I guess you're right. No, I know you're right! =)
Thanks for underlining it again!
Guys, that's really what I am trying to do. And I'm glad to say: I succeeded and I'm truly enjoying my time.
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