You... Are... So... Beeyoooteefull...

I guess the picture speaks for itself! =)

Extremely funny! =D

Letter to the American people from her Majesty's Home Office

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To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a suitable President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise". You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "5hit". You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are **** and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager". The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your cooperation.

How I deal with my anger

There are many ways how one deals with his anger and tries to calm himself.. Mine is very simple:

• I go to my keyboard and start playing (for some reason I have to be upset to play well)
• I order Cinnabon
• I write a song
• I watch South Park or Shrek or anything else which makes me laugh
• I waste my time and don't do my homework (very bad I know)
• I just close my eyes and try to review all the incidents which made me mad and try to accept them (which doesn't make me happier but calmer)
• I listen to music (volume up) d-.-b

Writing this post also helped a bit..

Contradictions (Part 1) *'*dreams*'*

Life is full of contradictions. I think it is worth writing about it.. And this post will be about dreams...

When we talk about dreams we distinguish between the envisioned images, sounds, or other sensations during sleep and our wishes for the future.

Dreams are usually uncontrollable by the dreamer himself but there is one exception and it's called lucid dreaming in which a dreamer realizes that he is dreaming and is even able to control various aspects of the dream (only to a certain extent). Anyway, the funny and even positive thing about dreams is that you can do everything you want (without being rewarded or punished): fly, say things to people you never thought you'd meet, etc. So theoretically you can balance all the avoided things in real life by doing them in your dreams. But it gets quite annoying when your moral principles stay ''activated'' even when you are asleep and you cannot just free yourself from them for a while. That means you are able to control your dreams to a certain extent because even while you are sleeping your conscience is still awake and does not let you do anything which is in opposition to your ideals. As a lucid dreamer, you are sometimes able to realize while dreaming that you are dreaming which makes you even more capable of controlling your actions in the dream. So, you can control your dreams while you are asleep. What about the wishes that are supposed to come true? They are dependent on something called destiny. It follows from this that although you can influence your future by making decisions and taking certain actions you are still dependent on your destiny.

And here we come to the annoying part: You can control the dreams while you are asleep though they don't have any effect on your future but not the ones which decide on the rest of your life. Paradox...

New tag: Your Dominant Thinking Style

***My Dominant Thinking Style: Modifying***

Super logical and rational, you consider every fact available to you.
You don't make rash decisions and are rarely moved by emotion.

You prefer what's known and proven - to the new and untested.
You tend to ground those around you and add stability.

What's Your Thinking Style? http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourthinkingstylequiz/

I tag Cevris and the Sphinx! =)

Just for fun! =D

Baby as small as pen when born to go home

MIAMI (Reuters) - A premature baby only slightly longer than a ballpoint pen at birth was due to be sent home in the coming days from a Florida hospital after four months of neonatal intensive care, the hospital said on Tuesday.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070220/ts_nm/usa_baby_dc

Expecting.. Accepting..

Relationships.. Are they based on the bright sides that you are expecting and appreciating or on the shady sides which you are accepting..
I'd say it's more about the shady sides which you have to deal with because it's often harder to accept the things you don't like than to admire the things you like.
For example when people start talking about each other behind each other's back they usually talk in a negative way.. They do not count the values but the weaknesses.
For that reason I believe it's more about accepting what drives you made than about expecting certain values and finding them in that person.
It takes some (a lot of) sacrifice and self-discipline to accept people's disliked sides.
But it does not take much to expect certain things and appreciate them when they are available. So, it's often not about what you like/get but about what you don't like/get.
Taken from ----> ''Iit's not about what you know but about what you don't know.'' (Einstein)

Who's beautiful? Everyone...

As I have mentioned in the last tag I like to observe the people around me. Not just the behaviour but also the looks, cloths, etc.
And I noticed that although we always ask: ''Who's the most beautiful one...?'' one can consider that question as totally stupid because when you start analyzing a face for exmaple you may find something to criticize about the different features but as a whole and I mean the whole combination of eyes, nose, lips, profile is just unmatched. Especially when you start thinking of the 7 billion people walking around on this planet. Almost everyone has his own features and even if you find certain ones in common between some people the whole impression one gets in the end is still different and unique.
During the lessons I noticed that I considered (almost) all my classmates as good-looking because if there's something to criticize and you want to change it: How do you know that it won't be worse after changing it?!
One could argue and say: Look at all the Hollywood stars and the singers on Melody (Arabic music channel), they look great after having a cosmetic surgery and their features are just perfect. Well, they might have the perfect features but in the end you still get the impression that they look like dolls. It's even some kind of mass production because you get the feeling that they all look the same.
Plus, it's not about the perfect features but about having natural ones and I think they are usually the best and most beautiful ones!
So, I guess that means: The origin of beauty is nature!

(I guess one of the reasons for this pleasure of observing humans' and their looks is that you get to admire God's Creation more and more and just say: Sob7an Allah! ''Laqad khalaqna el ensana fi a7sana taqwim'' (Surah 95:4))

SSH Club

It's just crazy.. There are so many things which can make you jealous.
For example when you see a whole a bunch of stupid people getting too much attention..
Or when there's this person about whom you care a lot while this person gives lots of his attention to another person (that doesn't give a damn about him). Also when there's this birthday party and you are not invited while people who dislike and make fun of the birthday kid are included.
And for some reason it is usually the stupid, superficial hypocrites who get all the attention.
I have to admit that this fact drove me mad for a while because I was always wondering what would happen if they got to know the truth and what's said behind their backs.
But then I asked myself: They get a lot of attention.. But by whom? Also stupid, superficial hypocrites. So, why should that bother me??
It's a circle which includes all these people of the same character: Lying to each other while smiling, saying bad things behind each other's back without having a guilty conscience, etc..
All members of the SSH (Stupid Superficial Hypocrites) Club.

I have been tagged by Cevris! :)

The tag is to write about five unknown things about yourself! Well, I have one question: ''unknown'' to whom? Anyway, will just write what comes to my mind:

• I love plaits (braids). I don't know how many times I plait my hair during one day or even during one lesson at school. Especially when I'm excited or nervous. One can compare it with people who bite their nails, I hate doing that so plaiting my hair is the replacement.
• I enjoy sitting in the car (as long as it is not uncomfortable).
• I always have to walk around while I'm on the phone, usually in big circles.
• I like to observe (beobachten, nicht überwachen) the people around me.
• I usually start eating what I don't like very much and keep the best and most delicious things until the end.