Accepting changes

Well, achieving this took me almost two years.
I usually hold on to memories and the people I grew up with. But during the last years I had to face the fact that things change and that one simply can’t change that.
For example I never thought that anything could cause real problems between me and my friends and I always believed we’d stay friends at least until we graduate from school.
The last thing I imagined was being forced to give up these friendships thanks to a few guys. And that’s what happened later. But it turned out that it wasn’t the new people who had entered our lives but something which had a bigger influence. Our characters had changed. Our moral principles had changed, the way of thinking and seeing things had changed, simply everything.
I kept struggling for two years not able to accept that (which was very stupid, I know) but in the end I finally understood that you can’t always change what’s going on in your surroundings.
Sometimes all you can do is either to withdraw from it or to be capable of dealing with it.
At the beginning I was sad that things turned out the way they did. Now I’m glad about it because changes mean new things, new experiences.

I guess that’s part of being alive.
As a matter of fact, that what makes every moment so special because you have no idea how long it will last.

What do you do with your last presentation?

This was my last presentation (around 90 minutes) for school. The small coloured papers are my notes.

Didn't know what to do after being done with it. So, that's the result:

And that's my attiude (see smiley in the middle):

Guys and girls at school

What I learnt about guys and girls at school..

If you want to be a cool, popular guy you will have to:
Say swearwords, smoke, have a girlfriend and act in a superficial, cold way.

If you want to be a cool, popular girl you will have to:
Know millions of guys, have no limits towards guys, have a boyfriend and act in a superficial, “cute” (=stupid, honourless) way.

In my whole life I only met 4 girls who are not affected by this mindset and if I forget about the swearwords maybe only 2 guys but I really respected these people and I guess they were one of the reasons that made me get disgusted by this whole “I want attention, be cool and I’m ready to do anything to achieve that!” attitude while the “swimming against this current” attitude took over my life.

"What's your true colour?"

My true colour is Black!

Your color is black. The color of night. Serene and mysterious, black conjures up images of elegant evening gowns, dashing tuxedos, and gleaming limousines. Traditionally a symbol of success, black also represents power and an uncompromising demand for perfection. Not surprisingly, you tend to set challenging goals for yourself and do whatever it takes to achieve them — your strength of character is second to none. This unfaltering determination, along with your natural elegance, impresses people. But keep in mind that your personality might be intimidating to some. Try to temper your demanding side with a little softness — trust us, it won't kill you. Overall, though, black is the color of professionalism and achievement, which means it's clearly the color for you.

What's Your True Color? Brought to you by Tickle

"I absorb every shock, except that of defeat."

I took this picture in an airport in 2006 and noticed that it describes my attitude in life quite well.

By defeat I don't mean when you lose in chess or a swimming competition but not being able to beat certain weaknesses or shady sides of your personality.
Especially when the self-control isn't doing its job as well as it should any more. I hate that! And I'm not really patient regarding such things.
Some say that everything comes and goes and it’s just a matter of time but who said that I’m willing to wait until Ms Weakness decides to get lost?!

You find lots of people saying one's main purpose in life is to enjoy it as much as he can. Things like self-control or self-discipline are seen as killjoys and are rather neglected than strengthened. Maybe leading such a life could be regarded as much easier and comfortable but also as hollow, in my opinion.
Defeating your own shady sides is one of the most difficult things in life but coevally an incomparable and unique feeling when you succeed.
I personally consider it as the maximum of gratification when you prove that you’re stronger than the ordinary weaknesses of human nature and that you can achieve everything you want.
That also explains why I execrate dealing with one shady side for too long. I neither have the patience nor anything else to get along with the same stupid weakness.
And the longer it takes to get rid of it the more I can’t stand myself.

Such a life might not look bright but it bears a meaning because you’re not just living to sleep, eat and try to survive (humans: by making money, animals: get yourself a biology book) but there’s something that differs you, as a human being, from all the other creatures: The ability of analysing your character and not just getting along with your weaknesses but taking it as a challenge to defeat them.
The main aim is accomplishing perfection. And although you know that achieving this perfection is impossible you keep striving and don’t give up which guarantees you a life full of provocations and spares you any feelings of hollowness or meaninglessness.

Some people say that there are certain things e.g. the stupid weird feelings one has to experience in adolescence which take time and you can’t just smooth them out at a moment’s notice.
Guess what? I believe one can. It truly takes a tremendous volition and one may fail a few times at the beginning but … Who knows? Maybe it just depends on the courage of facing the problem and then being determined to solve it.

And where there’s a will, there’s also a way! =)

Mi Tierra - Gloria Estefan

Quality of sound isn't perfect but that's the most "modest" video I could find.. So, whoever likes latin music: enjoy! =)

(First press play then pause and leave it until it has finished loading, so it doesn't buffer and you can enjoy it in spades.)

Watch a falling star... Noooo, a falling tree!

So much for Spring!

Egyptian taxi drivers and Egyptian football

People usually say ''Egyptian taxi drivers are so annoying and stupid.''
Not at all, in my opinion. It's even the contrary. These people are quite clever and they know what is going on in their country though the good news we get to hear on the radio and the Egyptian channels. They listen to the news, to the upcoming new projects which are supposed to help the Egyptian economy to grow and know that there aren't even plans for these projects. They listen to the great achievements of our beloved president and know that the country will run out of it.
Then you wonder, why don't they do anything? It's quite simple: If you spend every day not knowing if you'll make enough money to have something for dinner it's hard to expect anything from you. People are so busy with their own problems that they can't/don't want to think of solving other problems.

Another thing Egyptians don't seem to have seen through (yet) is the football policy.
The two most popular football teams in Egypt are Al Ahly and Al Zamalek. The government has achieved turning these two teams into the biggest two enemies. Al Ahly fans regard Al Zamalek fans as enemies and it comes to quite brutal arguments sometimes.
It's also unbelievable when you read the newspapers of each group and see all the excuses and hints. Once they even accused one of having a connection to Israel etc. ... Unbelievable!
But one has to admit that the government really succeeded in grabbing the people's attention to this imbecility called football to prescind them from what's happening in the country.

I guess after getting rid of this regime one will have to ban Egyptian football for at least 5 years because the people have gotten so addicted to it that there's nothing else in their mind but how the beloved team will win 6:1 in the next match.

Let's see what will happen during the next months (years)...

I wonder... (Part 1)

• ... why do people always have to scream and shout in concerts? They don't get to hear what the ''artists'' on stage are singing/playing (for what they've payed so much money) and all what they end up with is a headache.
• ... why do teachers forget that they were students themselves someday? That would help them to understand what we students have to go through.
• ... why do grown-ups forget that they were teenagers themselves someday? That would make it easier for their children to tell them everything and to avoid any secrets in a family.

Torn

Being a teenager has its pros and cons...

Pros:

• not too many responsibilities

Cons:

• mood swings
• uncontrollable thoughts and dreams
• stupid and more than stupid emotions and feelings which turn your world upside down
• immaturity
• superficiality
• stupid problems which seem so big and are actually so small

As you have noticed I see more cons regarding my age than pros and therefor I can't really enjoy this phase of my life. Knowing that some of the things I do right now are based on a lack of careful consideration drives me crazy because I know I will change my mind about them later or maybe I will even have to apologize for them. Or for example being aware of that there are huge problems in this world (just watch the news) while one has nothing better to do than focusing on his stupid meaningless problems and making a mountain out of a moleghill makes me feel pathetic. And then these annoying and superfluous emotions one has to experience in this age. They are a pure waste of time! But it's part of being a teenager.. So, what do you do?
I personally can't stand it and my main problem is: There's this huge gap between what I’m meant to be as a teenager and what I want to be as a grown-up. I don’t enjoy the life of an ordinary teenager and at the same time I can’t be a grown-up yet.

So, I’m torn between these two worlds until ...