"I absorb every shock, except that of defeat."

I took this picture in an airport in 2006 and noticed that it describes my attitude in life quite well.

By defeat I don't mean when you lose in chess or a swimming competition but not being able to beat certain weaknesses or shady sides of your personality.
Especially when the self-control isn't doing its job as well as it should any more. I hate that! And I'm not really patient regarding such things.
Some say that everything comes and goes and it’s just a matter of time but who said that I’m willing to wait until Ms Weakness decides to get lost?!

You find lots of people saying one's main purpose in life is to enjoy it as much as he can. Things like self-control or self-discipline are seen as killjoys and are rather neglected than strengthened. Maybe leading such a life could be regarded as much easier and comfortable but also as hollow, in my opinion.
Defeating your own shady sides is one of the most difficult things in life but coevally an incomparable and unique feeling when you succeed.
I personally consider it as the maximum of gratification when you prove that you’re stronger than the ordinary weaknesses of human nature and that you can achieve everything you want.
That also explains why I execrate dealing with one shady side for too long. I neither have the patience nor anything else to get along with the same stupid weakness.
And the longer it takes to get rid of it the more I can’t stand myself.

Such a life might not look bright but it bears a meaning because you’re not just living to sleep, eat and try to survive (humans: by making money, animals: get yourself a biology book) but there’s something that differs you, as a human being, from all the other creatures: The ability of analysing your character and not just getting along with your weaknesses but taking it as a challenge to defeat them.
The main aim is accomplishing perfection. And although you know that achieving this perfection is impossible you keep striving and don’t give up which guarantees you a life full of provocations and spares you any feelings of hollowness or meaninglessness.

Some people say that there are certain things e.g. the stupid weird feelings one has to experience in adolescence which take time and you can’t just smooth them out at a moment’s notice.
Guess what? I believe one can. It truly takes a tremendous volition and one may fail a few times at the beginning but … Who knows? Maybe it just depends on the courage of facing the problem and then being determined to solve it.

And where there’s a will, there’s also a way! =)